Beth Helmstetter Events

2010-03-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

For my destination wedding, how many people can I anticipate not to accept the invitation?

It's not an exact science, but with destination weddings, you can expect to lose anywhere from 25% to 35% of the guests. There are lots of factors that go into your guest's decision to attend your destination wedding, however, so I always recommend taking a quick inventory of your guest list and evaluating the following things:

1. How close are they to us? Meaning, even if time and finances were a huge issue, would they stop at nothing to attend? Or, are they a more distant friend that would feel fine just sending a gift?

2. What is their financial situation? Can they afford to jet off to Italy or even just Colorado for the weekend or will a trip like yours put them in a financial crunch?

3. Do they have the time to spare? Are they uber busy or do they have the flexibility to take a few days off here and there?

Of course, you might not know the exact details of each person's situation, but going through and taking each guest on an individual basis might give you more accurate insight into how many guests you can expect to attend.

Choosing the Right Venue for Your Wedding Style : Part II, The Private Estate

2010-03-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's really no secret. While I try so hard to be remain unbiased, I'm a private estate gal at heart. Not that private estates aren't without their frustrations (rentals alone can kill the budget and most are a logistical nightmare when it comes to power, lighting, parking and bathrooms), but even so, there is something wonderful about having a space all to yourself on your wedding day. This being said, I continue my series on finding the right venue for your style with the pros of the private estate.

You might be a private estate bride if:

~You prefer privacy over convenience. Estates are typically renting to you and you only for the weekend meaning you don't have to worry about bumping into the bride who took the morning slot or gawking hotel guests who don't realize that your wedding is not a public affair.

~You like the idea of a completely blank slate in which to implement your wedding day vision. This is a big one for me. Love the flexibility in design that comes with a private estate. Though this blank slate can come with a hefty price tag in order to make it functional.

~You like the idea of marrying at a venue that is a little off the beaten path and is not the site your friends have been to a million times. I confessed last week that resorts have found a new place in my heart, but truth be told if you live in Southern California, chances are you and your friends have been to several weddings at the best resorts in Los Angeles. Private estates typically reduce this possibility making your day feel that much more special.

~You want to live in the lap of luxury if only for a minute. Many private estates are multi-million dollar homes with breathtaking views, glamorous amenities and an all around, over the top experience.

~Along with hosting your wedding at these homes, many allow you and a few select guests to stay at the home, making it the perfect place for a rehearsal dinner bbq or morning after brunch as well.

Next week, let's chat about the beauty of hosting a wedding in your very own back yard.

E + A Get Hitched

2010-03-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Halloween in Santa Barbara never looked so elegant as on E & A's big day! From saying vows at the Natural History Museum (my new favorite spot) to dancing the night away at Four Seasons Biltmore, the wedding was definitely one of my favorites of all time! With a haunted mansion atmosphere, the couple wanted to give a nod to the holiday without going too kitschy. The end result was lovely with the appropriate amount of spooky fun. Check out the images from Amy and Stuart...

Anthropologie and Weddings? Sign Me Up

2010-03-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard the latest, Anthropologie is gearing up to sell wedding gowns and other glorious bridal goodies! It will be too late for all of you 2010 brides, but if thinking about 2011 or later for your wedding, hang tight and you're sure to have a drool worthy, coveted gown from the store, my friend, so adoringly refers to as "girl crack." I would love to call him blasphemous, but with so many charming things in their retail shops, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I've been known to get a little bit high from my Anthro experience! Anyway, stay tuned and we will be sure to debut some of the lovelies as they come to market! In the meantime, there are still several little numbers and accessories in their current collection that might work for your rehearsal dinner, small backyard wedding or even morning after brunch. We've pulled a few of our favs for you below...

Real Life Bride: Week 18

2010-03-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

A couple weekends ago I visited Los Angeles to check out some florists with my mom and Beth. We had already been to our initial meeting with Holly Flora and this was the prototype meeting where they show us what "look" they interpreted from the initial meeting - and I must say, this interpretation was exactly what I had envisioned for our wedding. It was rustic, loose, white...it was simply perfect. Honestly standing there, looking at the table, I could hardly believe that this could be happening for my own wedding. It looked like the beautiful florals seen in magazines and wedding blogs like Style Me Pretty. I actually was a little choked up over flowers; non-colorful flowers, but flowers none-the-less! We also discussed the jars/urns/containers for the day and Beth had even brought some make shift table runners that were in the colors we're looking at for the full effect; and it was beautiful! Our second florist had to postpone, but I loved this first look so much (and we've already gone through the proposal to get it down to a comfortable price point) that I think we will be sticking with Holly Flora.

In addition to the floral appointments, my mom and I must have ventured into at least five TJ Maxx, Marshalls and Home Goods stores looking for dishes to use at the wedding (I found two in the clearance section!). I also discovered that they have amazing prices on desiger shoes and clothes - I even picked up a pair of black shoes to wear to Vegas to one of many upcoming bachelorette parties! The next day my mom found some dishes on sale at Pier 1, so she let me know and I picked up a few more here in San Diego. Ryan's mom in Texas has even gratiously offered to scour the selection there; I'm confident we'll complete our collection with time to spare!

2010-03-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

I would like to invite some of my coworkers to my wedding, but I don't really know their husbands very well. Do I have to invite their spouses?

I know very few people agree with me, but I'm of the opinion that you should always allow your guests to bring a date. From experience as both a planner and a guest, there is nothing more frustrating than milling around a party without a date when most people are coupled up. Also, there is nothing that reminds a single person more of their single status than the celebration and union of marriage. With that being said, that's just a personal opinion and not necessarily etiquette. However, what is etiquette is if they are married, then yes, yes, yes, you need to invite their spouse. If you don't have the budget, consider not inviting the coworkers at all rather than inviting them sans the most important person in their life.

Choosing the Right Venue for Your Wedding Style : Part I, The Resort Wedding

2010-03-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

One of the major perks of being a wedding planner are special invites to wedding planner retreats. Venues throughout Southern Cali love nothing more than to bring wedding designers such as myself in for a few days to experience the space in just the way a couple would if they were marrying on the property. When I first started getting invited to these shindigs, while completely honored, I found myself thinking, why on earth would this 400 room resort invite me, a planner, who specializes in boutique style and intimate events, to their property. Well, let me tell you something, visiting these properties has certainly opened my eyes to possibilities that I previously wouldn't have considered. And, while, I love being pampered like a bride, what I love even more is coming home refreshed and with eyes wide open to all of the possibilities out there for venues. With this being said, I begin this series talking about the pros of each type of wedding venue. And, in honor of the Grand Del Mar which just had me as a guest, I am starting with resorts. While, very few meet the service standards of Grand Del Mar, there are some resorts out there that will treat you like the princess you know you are while being special enough to spend one of the most significant days of your lives in their hands. Here it goes:

You might find a resort the PERFECT place to marry if you are a couple who:

1. Prefers convenience for their guests allowing them to roll straight to bed after a night long of celebrating your nuptials. Most resorts offer enough accommodations that allow all of your guests to stay in the same place. If you are having more than 10 rooms, don't forget to inquire about a room block that may qualify you for a discounted rate for you and your guests

2. Likes the idea of giving your day your own special touch with flowers, lighting and linens but doesn't want to go so far as to have to pick out every fork, glass or china. Resorts typically have all of their equipment in house making that part of the planning a breeze. Though you are also not limited as if desired and in the budget, you always have the option to customize any detail you want.

3. Wants to make a weekend out of your wedding all in one location, though you want each event to have a different feel. Resorts typically have several event spaces that allow for convenience and versatility.

4. Likes the idea of having on-site service to handle your every wish that may or may not be directly related to your wedding. For example, an on-property spa or a concierge that can plan a night out for you and your bridesmaids is always a plus!

5. Prefers consistancy over creativity. While resorts are able to customize anything from your menu to your linens to fit your style, they really specialize in offering you and your guests a consistant experience. If you do your research, ideally you know far in advance what you can expect from the resort in terms of service, food and quality of accommodations.

Stop by next week to find out if you are more of a private estate sort of gal...

Pinkberry Caters!

2010-03-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's no secret to anyone who knows me well that I love Pinkberry! This being said, I was thrilled to hear that they now cater! I'm dreaming of fro-yo sundae bars or a midnight snack of the yummy treat.

Wedding Day Surprises

2010-03-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Every now and then I get to be a part of helping put together a wedding day surprise for the couples I work with. The image above from Amy and Stuart Photography is the result of one of those surprises. I worked with the bride to set up a midnight rendezvous down at the beach in front of their hotel immediately following the wedding. Blankets, candles, leftover wedding cake and champagne were simple yet still the perfect way for the couple to continue the celebration and reflect on their wedding day. With so much going on during the wedding day, it's really easy to forget to take a moment just for the two of you. Whether it be taking 10 minutes to yourself immediately after the ceremony, surprising your groom with boudoir photos bound in a beautiful album or sneaking each other love notes throughout the day, wedding day surprises for each other are simply the best.

Real Life Bride: Week 17

2010-03-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago when Ryan and I visited LA for the day to check out rentals, we also met with our pastor. He was great, and we'll definitely be having him perform the ceremony. To get to know us better, and to discuss important topics that I assume any pastor would want people to discuss before they get married, we each filled out a questionnaire about the other person and our relationship. Some questions were lighthearted (what is his/her favorite dessert, favorite band, etc...) but others were more serious (how many kids do each of you want to have, how does the other person deal with money, does he/she often keep secrets). We both laughed at some of them, knowing what the other person would write (one question asked if the other person remembers birthdays and holidays...well last year Ryan and I talked on the phone for 10 minutes on my birthday before I said, "aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday!?!" In his defense, we had celebrated twice already with friends and family and he had already given me my gift - a T.V. for my room!), but overall we both filled out our forms diligently and quickly. We've actually read through "1,000 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married," so we've talked about many of topics in depth.

We each filled out our answers and then the pastor took the papers and lead us through the conversation. We started out with the usuals, how did we meet, what were our first dates (the pastor was amazed at our specific memories...Ryan even knew that our second date was on a Sunday), how did Ryan propose, and then we started to make our way through the questionnaire. Ryan and I both have a lot to say, so we only made it through about three questions! But even in that short first hour, the pastor gave his "thin slice" reading of us - we both have really strong personalities, and remain individuals while also balancing each other out in the relationship. Great assessment if you ask me!

I am happy that we were able to find a pastor that we are both comfortable with, who is also open to working through the ceremony program with us. He gave us a copy of the standard layout and wording and invited us to go through and make changes where we see fit. Just a few days later Ryan and I sat together going through it all, deciding which words to insert, change and remove. We both would like to keep things somewhat traditional, but have also decided to let a close friend select a reading that she thinks suits us and the occasion. Should be interesting to see what she comes up with!

I can't wait until our next session to continue through the questions; it should bring up some good conversation in an open, honest and protected environment. Unfortunately, like all of our other appointments that require both of us, this will have to wait until Ryan has weekends off!

Michele & Kurt : The Engagement

2010-02-27T05:00:00.000-08:00

We are off to our first wedding of the season at a private estate in Palos Verdes and we're obviously praying and crossing every finger and toe that there will be no rain upon Michele & Kurt's big day. No matter what, though, I just know it will be glorious! We have all sorts of vintage meets formal love going on today and I can't wait to share the real wedding images. In the mean time, though, check out these beachy engagement images from one of my favorite photographers, Steve Steinhardt.

Congratulations Michele & Kurt!

2010-02-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

Is it appropriate to invite the officiant to the wedding dinner?

Of course! It's always great to invite the minister and his wife to dinner, however, please don't be offended if they don't make it. The reality is, they may be invited to many wedding dinners a year. If they took every couple up on their invitation, they may never have a Saturday night to themselves.

Wedding Mares

2010-02-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's 3:30 in the morning and I've already been up for two hours due to Wedding Mares. Yes, planners have them too. Of course, mine are not exactly the same as a bride's...My dress fits just fine and my bouquet isn't dead. Mine are more like the band didn't show up or I ordered the wrong linens and it's ruined the whole design of the event. As nonsensical as they are, wedding mares can leave any bride or planner with an overwhelming anxiety and anytime I have them, it makes me empathize that much more with my clients. I plan weddings all day, every day, and I still get anxiety about each and every event I plan. While, after over 150 weddings, I now know there is rarely such a thing as a completely perfect wedding, perfection is what every planner still strives for. And, while I'm definitely not a psychologist, I would guess this quest for perfection is the source of these wedding mares.

As annoying as not being able to sleep can be, these little nightmares just remind me of how much more stressful the planning process is for the bride in her quest for perfection. I mean, this is probably the one and only time you will plan an event this large and with all of the emotions involved, who wouldn't be stressed. But, just know that with so many moving parts, there will be little things that may go wrong but in all my years of planning, I have yet to have one of my wedding mares come true and I almost guarantee yours won't either. But just in case, I keep a notebook on my nightstand with reminders to handle the next morning, like "reconfirm the band" and "doublecheck the linens". That is, if I am actually lucky enough to be able to fall back asleep.

Tanasia & Adrian Get Hitched

2010-02-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's been about a year since Jane Park took over our Hawaii Studio and it's about time you see what she's been up to! Jane worked with Tanasia and Adrian for several months to help design her vintage, yet refined wedding day which took place at one of my favorite places in the world, the Haiku Mill on the island of Maui. This intimate wedding of 26 is one of the sweetest visions I've laid eyes on and in case you missed it, Style Me Pretty also agreed! From porcelain vases, raw silk linens, antique lace table runners and exposed stone covered throughout the venue, the textures alone make my heart a flutter. Check out a few images from A Beloved Wedding, one of my new favorite photographers in the islands:

Destination Weddings & Honeymoons A-List Planner

2010-02-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

We're so lucky to have made the A-List Planner List from Destination Weddings & Honeymoons. We are on the list with 30 of the world's best planners and are honored to be in such good company!

Also, we provided a bit of advice in this month's issue for Lisa Milbrand's Aisle File article on "Wedding Planner 101." We love sharing our advice with one of our absolute favorite destination wedding publications! Thanks again, ladies, for including us!

Real Life Bride: Week 16

2010-02-22T05:52:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned last week, we had set up a few vendor appointments to get things going. On Tuesday Ryan and I headed up to LA and met with two different rental companies along with my mom and Beth. The first was really great and had a wide variety of options for china, stemware, flatware, chairs - everything. We were able to walk through the massive warehouse and have the staff pull out tables and belly bars for us to see. We also looked at benches and cushions for the ceremony seating and cocktail lounge area. It was nice to have Ryan there to be able to give input...and I was pleasantly surprised that for the most part we agreed on our preferences!

The second company we visited had less selection and just simpler options all around. While Ryan and I are feeling comfortable with either company/option, we know the nicer company will come in with a higher quote, so we'll just have to see if the price difference is worth the product difference; but something tells me that for my mom it will definitely be worth it! Her preference is to have more options than just your standard stemware and china.
We also decided to use some mix and match dinner plates. Beth has some great pieces that she's collected from Home Goods and Marshalls, so we've decided that in the next eight months we'll scour these stores and TJ Maxx to find complimentary pieces. We've already picked up 17 dishes! Overall I think it will look really pretty on the tables, and it's fun to have a project to work on. I also like knowing that we'll be able to keep a set of 12 of the dishes used at our wedding; it will make for a very meaningful memento of the occasion!

Grow Old With You

2010-02-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

This would be both hopelessly romantic and mortifying all at the same time. Here's hoping there's just the right amount of cheese in your engagement...

Carnival Love

2010-02-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

I'm dying to find a parisian, vintagey, carnivalesque inspired excuse to celebrate. Whether a little girl's birthday party or a baby shower, I would be giddy all the live long day...

from top to bottom: inspiration from erin ever after, carnival inspired candy bar from rebecca thuss, vintage bingo cards, apple cotton candy from the swell life, frozen lemonade from time, hand made penants from rebecca thuss, carousel from snippet and ink, colorful cake from martha, balloons galore from dorthe alstrup, the sweetest vintage tin of champagne truffles in the perfect shade of pink, vintage carnival tickets to trade for all of the above goodness

2010-02-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Why is catering so expensive per head, versus going to a restaurant? For example, why can I go to dinner in Los Angeles and have an upscale meal for $50 to $75 per person but caterers in the area can't seem to do something comparable for less than $100 per person?

Catering is definitely one of the top expenses of planning your wedding and every couple can't help but feel a little uncomfortable when cutting a check in the five digits to a single vendor for their wedding day. Believe me, I can empathize! There are a lot of logistical details that go into catering and the expense to actually cater an event. To make sure I didn't leave anything out, I reached out to one of my all time favorite catering chefs here in Los Angeles, Jerry Baker of The Food Matters. Here are just a few elements that Jerry mentioned to me that differ between catering and dining at an existing restaurant (thrown in with a little of my own commentary):

~Caterers have to build a new kitchen at every event, where as restaurants already have this in place. This includes bringing in ovens, shelter, lighting, etc. Essentially at every event, caterers build out their own personal kitchen that is similar to that of an existing restaurant kitchen.

~Restaurants are able to serve other customers while you are eating your dinner allowing them to make additional revenue for not only the restaurant but also for the servers staffing the restaurant, where as a caterer and their staffing is there only for you and your group when catering your wedding.

~Restaurants are typically able to sell overages on the food to other customers or turn them into additional profitable menu items to be served on different nights. Whereas, caterers actually have to overbuy just in case of additional guests, large eaters, etc. and at the end of the night the leftover products go to waste. It's not likely that the caterers will have an event the next day using the same products or menu that you had at your wedding.

~A restaurant has an area where all of the food can not only be prepared, but one where dishes, silverware, plates, etc. can be cleaned. A caterer often has to prepare the food off-site, safely transport the food to the temporary kitchen built for your day and then transport the cooking equipment and such back to their off-site kitchen for clean up. Talk about time consuming!

~Staffing at a restaurant is also different. The amount of setup a restaurant server has to do compared to that of a catering server doesn't even relate. Catering staffs do a whole lot more than wipe a few tables down and refill salt and pepper shakers for the evening crowd. This being said, they start hours before the event helping prep everything from building a bar from scratch to plating up and expediting food throughout the evening all while on a strict timeline.

Anyway, I don't know about you, but just typing this out is exhausting! I definitely wouldn't want the job of catering a wedding. With that being said, though, I am so thankful there are so many talented chefs like Jerry, who couldn't think of anything they would rather do. Thanks Jerry for your insight into the world of catering!

Nina & Russell Get Hitched

2010-02-18T05:00:00.001-08:00

I've been dying to share images from Nina & Russell's wedding for months now! Now that Snippet & Ink has shared their take on it, I'm free to share all of my favorite moments and details from the day. Nina was highly inspired by a trip she had taken to India in years past. This paired with their new home of Los Angeles and their native city of New York City, resulted in a vibrant yet edgy wedding with ethnic moments. I was in love with them and their amazing style! Enjoy!

I love aqua, teal, electric blue and every shade in between. A vintage typewriter guestbook in turquoise and red accents was a lovely welcome for their guests.

Hand crafted pillows made from an Indian sari was the perfect way to warm up the ceremony benches

Moroccan lanterns from Mosaik in West Hollywood filled with fresh florals lined the ceremony

Indian inspired tunes were played in the background while Nina walked down the aisle

A tattoo booth might have been too risky for most couples on their wedding day, but it was the perfect activity and favor for the friends of this couple!

Their too-good-for-words photographer, Jonathan Canlas, couldn't have told the story any better! Thank you for sharing Jonathan and thank you Nina & Russell for allowing me to be a part of your amazing day!

Do's & Dont's for a Tropical Wedding Part II

2010-02-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

For all of you that have been waiting with bated breath, here are my final tips for your destination wedding in the tropics:

6. DO be flexible. Whether it is about the minister or the décor, recognize that with a destination wedding you may not have as many options from the clergy, to the photographer to the flowers. If you are set on a Lutheran minister or an 8mm cinematographer, recognize that you may have to fly someone in to handle these tasks. However, going into the event being flexible will relieve stress on everyone’s part and save you a few bucks as well.

7. DON’T go it alone, but DO shop around. Never plan a destination wedding completely on your own. In doing so, you are risking disappointments like your cake not showing up, flowers being late, etc. While it is not necessary to hire an independent wedding planner to get you through everything, make sure the hotel or location you are marrying has someone with your best interests in mind.

8. DO trust the experts. You’ve found the best vendors to handle your day. Trust your judgment and their guidance, especially in a location where you may or may not have visited. While things like where the sun is setting and high tide may not be of concern to you, it will definitely be on the mind of your wedding planner as well as your other vendors, who are ultimately there to ensure you have a flawless wedding day.

9. DON’T expect everyone you invite to attend. Traveling is expensive, especially to some of the world’s top tropical destinations. Because of this, expect a certain percentage of your guests to decline your invite. While this can be initially disappointing, it will make for a much more intimate celebration.

10. DO embrace the culture. Because each destination is like no other, you would be doing your guests an injustice if you did not introduce them to the unique culture of the location of your choice. It doesn’t have to be anything as out there as a ceremony with Polynesian chanting, but some touches are great. When in Hawaii, consider greeting your guests with a lei, or hire a hula dancer for cocktail hour. If you’re in the Caribbean, start your cocktail hour off with Mojitos and a steel drum player.

Guest Blog on Style Me Pretty

2010-02-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

As if all of you don't already read Style Me Pretty on a daily basis, but, just in case you needed another excuse, I'm going to be guest blogging for Abby on a weekly basis. Specifically we will be showcasing DIY weddings that I have fallen in love with. This being said, if you know anyone who had a DIY wedding full of luscious details, please send them my way! In the meantime, our first three posts went up yesterday and can be seen by clicking here, here and here.

Real Life Bride : Week 15

2010-02-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

Living in a different city than where we are getting married has definitely affected the wedding planning experience. Having a fiance whose "weekends" are Tuesdays and Wednesdays (Ryan's an air traffic controller) makes it nearly impossible to have any wedding appointments together since we don't have any days off together. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out my bosses were giving me an extra day off over the holiday weekend to celebrate the success of our gala, and that day is a Tuesday!

Almost as soon as they even mentioned it to me I was clearing the day trip up to LA with Ryan, my mom and of course making appointments with Beth! My top priority was to have our tasting with the caterer since we already put down a deposit. There are only two things Ryan said he had to be a part of - the catering and the cake. Of course it would be our luck, that on the first day we have off together since we've been engaged (other than our engagement party itself)...the caterer has an event and can't meet with us! But we are still making the most of our wedding planning day - we have a cake tasting, a visit with our pastor and two trips to rental companies.

I'm so happy to have the day off and be working on the wedding together, and it should be interesting to see how Ryan reacts to everything at the wedding appointments!

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here's hoping all of those valentine's day proposals are as magical as this one...

My Dream Valentine's Day

2010-02-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've always been relatively low maintenance when it comes to romance, so if I could have anything I wanted on Valentine's day, it would be a day filled with understated sentiments...

from top to bottom: chocolate chip pancakes shaped like hearts, an afternoon spent reading poetry from pablo neruda, a bouquet of fresh coral peonies and a handwritten love letter